Unemployed despite his associate’s degree, Israel Cruz has been living in his parents’ unfinished basement, playing video games and scrolling social media. He is obsessed with a Portuguese influencer and supermodel known as M&M; her bikini-clad posts about eyeliner and lip gloss may have contributed to his passion!
Born to a Puerto Rican father and a Jewish mother, Israel is constantly mistaken for a wide assortment of ethnicities, from Albanian to Turkish. The question of his identity “slapped him in the face every time someone asked him about his origins, if he spoke Punjabi, if he followed the Argentine Primera División, if he knew where to find halal.” The combination of his uncertainty about himself and his desire to woo M&M leads to a decision: he will move to Portugal and become Portuguese! And to make it happen, he ropes his brother into the adventure.
The only problem is Israel can’t afford a trip overseas. In this humorous satire about the quest for identity, Israel and Judah find work on a ship in the Transporti Maritime Line. All they have to do is help in the kitchen and run “errands” at various ports. Israel sees it as a budget cruise. All too soon, the brothers are on their way to Portugal’s Azores islands—blissfully unaware that they are caught up in shady dealings that could land them in prison!
- Cover
- Title page
- Copyright page
- Contents
- Part I
- Chapter one Israel Gets a Job, Loses a Job and Has an Idea
- Chapter two Israel Makes Plans and Gets into an Argument
- Chapter three Israel Heads to the Hospital and Plays Bocce Ball
- Chapter four Israel and Judah Board a Train and Encounter a Traveling Band
- Chapter five Israel and Judah Arrive at the Port of Baltimore
- Chapter six Israel and Judah Embark on a Journey and Are Tested in the Galley
- Chapter seven Israel Refines His Poems and Speaks with an Engineer
- Chapter eight Israel Experiences Rough Water and Loses His Marbles
- Part II
- Chapter nine Israel and Judah Disembark and Collect Milk
- Chapter ten Israel Wears the Chapéu of Mambrino
- Chapter eleven The Rite of Passage for the Portuguese Brotherhood
- Chapter twelve Israel and Judah Deliver the Good sand Call Their Mother
- Chapter thirteen Israel and Judah Arrive in Madeira
- Chapter fourten Israel and Judah Stop in Chicago and Hear a Story
- Chapter fifteen Israel and Judah Sail North toward Lisbon
- Chapter seventeen A Fall from Grace
- Part III
- Chapter eighteen Israel and Judah Are Interrogated
- Chapter nineteen Israel and Judah Experience Novel Accommodations
- Chapter twenty Israel and Judah Evaluate Customer Service
- Chapter twenty- one Israel and Judah Meet Another Cruz
- Chapter twenty-two Judah and Israel Join a Traveling Party
- Chapter twenty-three Judah Falls in Love
- Chapter twenty-four Israel Speaks with a Recovering Addict
- Chapter twenty-five Israel Sees the Most Beauteous
- Chapter twenty-six Israel Blacks Out and Then Has a Dream
- Chapter twenty-seven Israel Has a Revelation
- Chapter twenty-eigh Israel and Maggie Get Separated from the Tour Group
- Chapter twenty-nine Israel Discovers There Are More Interesting Things Than Painted Tiles
- Chapter thirty Israel Makes a Sale and Starts a Candid Conversation
- Chapter thirty-one Israel Channels Alexios, and Judah Channels Aquaman
- Part IV
- Chapter thirty-two Detective Metrass Closes the Case
- Chapter thirty-three Israel and Maggie Head to the Airport
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